100 pounds is reality.

Hi. I'm fat. I was anorexic for two years. Bulimic for about two months. Now i'm a binge eater. I self harm frequently. I have depression, OCD, BPD, and anxiety. I have been hospitalized for anorexia. I hate myself for trying to recover. I need to loose weight again. I hate being so fat. I am pro ana, so if you have a problem with that please leave my blog. Thanks.

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Binge Free days: 0
Cut free days: 0
Days restricting: 0
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Height: 5'7
*Current weight: 135
*Goal weight: 115*
*Lowest weight: 104*
*Highest weight: 176*

Intake

2-17-11

Breakfast: None

Lunch: 2 Apples with spray butter and cinnamon

Snack: Sugar free jelly with lite cool whip (what the fuck?)

Dinner: Spaghetti squash & veggie turkey with spray butter

Snack: Fat free hot coco and handful of grapes

Total in calories: About 600 —Aka too fucking much.

My mom forced me to eat lunch and dinner. I had a cup of laxatives. No exercise yet today. I cut. Again. Whats new? I hate myself. Fatty.

2-18-12

Breakfast: Bowl of fruit (grapes,strawberries,blueberries, and raspberries), 1 large apple, and a fat free hot chocolate

Lunch: Pepsi Max

Dinner: 6 slices veggie turkey and 100 calorie can of vegetable soup

Mom took me to the park and I ran about 5 miles. No laxatives today (mom hid them from me). Haven’t cut yet. Still fat.

2-19-12

I ate like fucking cow. I had a track meet, almost passed out so the coach made me eat a shit ton of pretzels and a pb&j sandwich. I’d guess I had around 1400-1500 calories. I ran 5 miles though, so hopefully I wont get any fatter. Starting fresh tomorrow. Go fatty!

2-20-12

Fucking binged like no other. I will be obese one day. Fattass. I’m giving up food for lent.

2-21-12

Breakfast: 1/3 of a banana

Lunch: Nothing

Snack: Half a fucking sugar cookie. Fatass.

Dinner: Half a cup of strawberries, tiny apple, and tons of spaghetti squash plain

Snack: 5-6 sugar free vitamin C drops and a fat free hot coco with lite cool whip

Exercise: Ran 5 miles and completed a leg/ab workout

I am so fucking fat. Probably had about 500-600 calories but its still way too much. I will never be thin. EVER.

2-22-12 through 2-23-12

I ate about 500-1000 calories with about a total of 9 miles and 2 1/2 hours of volleyball.

2-24-12 through 2-26-12

Total binge mode all fucking weekend. GO FATTY.

2-27-12

Total calories: 600-700 

Exercise: 4 and 1/2 mile run.

2-28-12

Total calories: About 700-750

Exercise: 4 1/2 mile run and 35 minutes of Just Dance workout.

2-29-12

Ran 4 miles. Ate about 700-800.

3-1-12

Ran 3 miles, had 21/2 hours of volleyball. Ate way too fucking much. I’d say about 1300-1400. god damn it.

3-2-12

Planned binge day. Had about 2600-3000 calories. Oh well. No exercise. Fuck.

3-3-12

Ate about 700 calories. Ran 3 miles and walked a ton at the mall. I am so fucking fat though. I HATE THIS!!

3-4-12

Ate 850-900 calories. I AM SO FAT. Had 2 hours of volleyball. Parents forced me to eat a bigger dinner though because “I looked pale” —GOOD. Fuck off bitches. I will get thin.